Welcome to the Rodeo! (Yeeee Haaaa!)
I’m sure a lot of men will agree that cowgirl is their favourite position along with the many variations of cowgirl. Ladies might think this is simply because men are lazy and want them on top doing all the work (which is sometimes the case actually). But it’s mostly because men are highly visual when it comes to their sex so having the woman on top allows their eyes (and hands) to roam all over their partner (which is great for both).
While it is true that women “do most of the work” in cowgirl, it also has the advantage of allowing the woman to have better control over her own pleasure. Also if the man is being an attentive lover then he is contributing to her pleasure with his hands and mouth. I am definitely an attentive lover so one reason I love cowgirl is it allows me to maximize the attention and pleasure I can give my partner.
Note: I should mention that I find I can help my partner to get much better clitoris + G-spot + A-spot (the 3Gs) contact by having her grinding on me rather than using pumping motions when in cowgirl. So for most of the position variations below I will be describing how to maximize grinding. Ladies also take note, if you traditionally ride your man with a pumping motion consider grinding on him instead while using his penis as your “personal flesh dildo”.
This photo is accurate for showing the typical starting arrangement for cowgirl except that I generally have my legs out straight when my partner is initially taking my penis in. As she begins pumping on me I stroke my hands over her thighs and bum, and lower back, and breasts. Eventually I shift my knees up a little until my position matches the picture above. If we are doing this on a bed then I also try to prop some pillows behind my back and sit upright somewhat so my face is conveniently located at her breast level for nuzzling.
(In the foreplay sections of this site I mention tracing teasing circles over my partner’s breasts with the tips of my fingers and cowgirl is a great position to practice this)
Shifting my legs up tends to make my partner lean forward more which changes the penetration angle allowing me to enter deeper. As she continues to pump on me I shift the angle of my pelvis upwards which further increases the penetration and if I get the angle right then the tip of my penis will slide over my partner’s A-spot (cervix) as she is pumping downwards.
Usually when my partner begins to feel the rubbing on her A-spot she will begin adjusting her pumping motion to get better contact from my penis. The result is that her pumping motion becomes a grinding motion. Often the more contact she is able to get then the more intense her grinding becomes and some ladies get almost frantic with the intensity of their grinding. I try to help her along by adjusting the angle of my pelvis if possible and I find that most ladies like to have their breasts stroked and squeezed while riding.
The clip below is an example of a woman grinding. While it is not obvious whether she is hitting her A-spot, G-spot, Clitoris, or all 3, she has full control over her own stimulation and definitely appears to be enjoying the ride. Notice that her motion is different from most ladies in porn movies.
Unfortunately I often find that taking my hands off my partner’s hips to play with her breasts reduces some of the pressure of my penis against her A-spot. So I often alternate between holding her by her hips (like in the picture above) or reach around and placing a hand on the back of her pelvis to help guide her grinding more firmly against her A-spot. If she is not bouncing around too wildly I may be able to place one hand on the small of her back while the other hand squeezes her breast and guides it into my mouth. But if she is “out of control” then I am often just doing my best to hold on for dear life and keep her from hurting both of us (yes it can get that intense).
Note: Throughout much of this website I have droned on about doing sex slowly, but if you can give a woman good contact on her 3Gs and let her take control there will be nothing slow (or quiet) about the experience.
I find that most ladies are multi-orgasmic when stimulated in this way, and they are able to have their first orgasm in as little as 2 minutes (does this count as premature ejaculation for ladies?). I also find many ladies have subsequent orgasms in as little as 30 seconds. Once we get to this stage my partner is often expending a lot of energy and may pause between orgasms to catch her breath. This naturally tends to lead to the variation below.
Usually once my partner has had a good scream from grinding on me she will slump over onto me like this while she catches her breath. I like this variation on cowgirl because it tends to be slower and much more intimate and I like to kiss and caress while we dance. (I think I have mentioned that kissing during sex is about as important to me as breathing… so our lips spend a lot of time locked together.)
Most ladies are a bit oversensitive immediately after their orgasm so I try to avoid any “penis movements” and focus instead on kissing and caressing while she is recovering. But eventually I will gently begin to shift my hips slowly and slide my penis around (slightly) inside her. This alone might be enough to trigger my partner to start grinding again, but certainly if the tip of my penis brushes against her A-spot it will likely set her off on her next “scream excursion”.
One thing I just noticed about the first picture is that ladies often do not lean back when grinding on me but usually put their hands on my shoulders and chest. I sometimes have to remind them not to gouge their fingernails into me when they get too excited. (Although I have to admit that the pain from their claws can be a turn-on during the moment, and the scratches and scars can also leave some good memories.)
This variation actually looks more like the arrangement I am normally in when I am leaning against the headboard with some pillows behind me for support. If I can tilt my pelvis upwards at the right angle then the tip of my penis will be firmly pressed against her A-spot (picture a thrusting motion where you stop and hold at the end of your thrust). This also allows my partner to put almost her entire body weight on her 3Gs.
Note: You might be horrified to hear me talking about putting entire body weight onto very sensitive internal body parts! But remember that the woman is in control here… so if she feels comfortable with that much pressure on her “sensitive bits” then it will be her doing it (not me).
I should clarify that while the woman is in control of the action in this position she may need some help with fine tuning or finessing the contact with her A-spot. Try to imagine the woman in the photo squirming and grinding and I can feel the tip of my penis sliding firmly across her A-spot. But sometimes my penis drifts off her A-spot and I can feel her trying to shift around to find better contact again. One final adjustment that I would normally make would be to place one or both of my hands on her lower back (right where the 2 dimples are on the woman in the photo). Then I would push down and/or towards me to help keep her A-spot centered on the tip of my penis while she grinds away.
Looking at the above photo again just reminded me of the “icing on the cake” for this position. If you get turned on by seeing your partner getting turned on then look into her eyes as she loses herself in the buildup to the earth shattering orgasm that 3G stimulation produces. I have seen ladies get completely wild (almost demonic) looks on their faces as they grind on me ferociously like they are frantically trying to dig that orgasm out of some great depth within them. It’s almost primeval, animalistic intensity also gets my adrenaline pumping because I feel like I’m the vampire’s next meal. (Ok I guess I watch too many movies but hopefully you get the idea).
Sometimes moving from the bed to other furniture is a great way to enhance the cowgirl experience. The arrangement in this particular photo looks like the woman is performing some very aggressive pounding or grinding on her partner.
This Cowgirl variation looks like it would maximize the depth for grinding and if the man’s penis curves upwards (I’m lucky that mine does) the woman would likely be getting good contact on her clitoris, G-spot, and A-spot simultaneously (which would explain why she might grind aggressively). If the woman leans back while grinding in this position it might even put more pressure on her 3Gs.
The woman also has her feet firmly planted and can support herself well with her hands, so this position would likely give her better control for “jackhammering”. The slight differences in angles on the couch compared to the bed might also mean her legs do not tire as easily.
Although one thing I would do differently from the man in the photo is use my hands to provide support and assistance to the hard working woman. I would place my hands behind my partner’s back, or under her bum to support her and even to take some of her weight so she does not tire so easily. (This man appears to be on a spa holiday because he’s just leaning back and letting his partner do all the work! He also has his partner’s breasts in his face so he is missing a great opportunity to “worship the girls”)
“Hollywood Cowgirl”
The exploration of the cowgirl positions would be incomplete if we didn’t take a look at the most common (stereotypical) variation. This is likely the first image that enters the minds of both men and women when the cowgirl position is mentioned. You can probably tell that I am not a big fan of this position and there are several reasons for this.
It is one of the most common positions in porn movies (which is why I call it Hollywood Cowgirl). Porn movies use this position so much because it allows the camera to easily see the penis/vagina penetration from many angles… which obviously means plenty of “good footage”. The position of the woman’s body also provides the camera with plenty of good angles on her body (especially with all the silicone enhanced bosoms that porn actresses sport). Lastly this position usually shows very energetic sex (basically the woman is jackhammering on her man), which is visually stimulating for the men watching the porn.
This position requires a lot of exertion for the woman because the squatting position puts a lot of strain on her legs. If a woman is not very fit then she will likely tire quickly and could even strain her leg muscles. (I suppose many porn actresses are quite fit if they can endure this position for long periods of time).
Ok guys I see some of you rolling your eyes and commenting on how that position is not very tiring for the lady. So drop and give me 50 squats right now then come back and tell me how easy it was for you.
Lastly this position seems to be most suited to fast “jackhammering” type penetration. I’ve stated many times that (in my experience) jackhammering penetration does not provide very accurate control, and in many cases provides less stimulation than slower penetration methods (like pumping or grinding).
But that doesn’t mean I never do this position. Remember that in most cowgirl positions the woman is in control, so if she wants to go there then I am happy to follow. I generally feel less sensation on my penis in this position (if she is jackhammering), but I do my best to assist my partner by placing my hands under her bum and supporting some of her weight. Or if she is leaning forward then I place my hands on her knees to help give her more stability. I also do my best to adjust the angle to help her get as much pleasurable contact while she is pounding on me. But if my partner shows any signs of discomfort or fatigue then I quickly suggest a different variation to give the poor woman a break.
Note that I am sometimes not certain whether a (new) partner is riding me in “Hollywood Cowgirl” because she is enjoying it, or because she thinks I am enjoying it. This is why communication about sex is important!
Reverse cowgirl is when the woman faces away from you instead of towards you (basically riding you backwards). I don’t have a preference for this position because I can’t kiss my partner and often have trouble reaching her breasts in most variations of this position. However I do notice that many ladies are fond of it because it provides much different contact inside their vagina than forward cowgirl. This position can put a lot of pressure on the woman’s G-spot (especially if she leans forward).
I couldn’t find a more typical picture in Sexinfo101.com for this position so I’ll just try to describe it based on the picture above. The woman begins in this position as it is a convenient angle for entry. After she has pumped a few times and has adjusted to the penis entry she is likely ready to shift to a more stimulating angle. She leans forward and places her hands on the man’s legs and grips them for support then places her weight on her knees and probably slides her knees back just a little to maximize the angle and pressure on her G-spot.
I have noticed when a woman is pumping in this position that it not only puts more pressure, but also more friction on her G-spot, so it is important to monitor her lubrication to avoid irritating her. I have also noticed that ladies who like reverse cowgirl also seem to like doggie style position (which also provides good pressure and stimulation on her G-spot).
Cowgirl Tip:
Do you sometimes find that your bed slides around when your lady gets “too energetic” during cowgirl? Have you ever been leaning against the headboard and the bed moves away from the wall causing a crevice to open up that you nearly fall into? Do your cowgirl encounters often end up narrowly avoiding disaster, and you worry about trying to make up creative stories for the emergency room staff about how you obtained your injuries?
Well the “obvious” solution is to put some rubber pads under the feet on your bed to stop them from sliding around. This would be especially important if your bed has wheels otherwise your playtime could become a roller derby!
You’ve probably already thought of this and taken care of it at home, but what to do when you are travelling? Should you carry rubber feet around with you to every hotel/motel you visit “just in case”? Well no actually, I’ve got an easier solution. I mostly wear running shoes so they act as very effective rubber stoppers for hotel beds. Before the fun begins I take a quick look at the bed to see if it slides around easily, then I see which feet seem to be taking the most weight (usually the middle). Then I lift the bed enough to slide a shoe under two of the feet (it helps to jam the bed foot tightly against the back of the shoe heel), and voila… no more sliding bed.
Funny note: Sometimes at the end of playtime when I am stumbling around in a stupour and putting my clothes back on I start to panic because I can’t find my shoes. (Have I mentioned I am an old man?)
If you think any of my information is incorrect, or can be improved please do contact me. My sensual journey is far from over and I am always looking to learn new things, or improve/correct things I thought I knew.