Greeting:
If you want your sensual encounters to proceed successfully then you need to be ready to begin at first contact. I always try to go for a minimal kiss when greeting my lady friend, with just a peck on the cheeks or a quick peck on the lips.
Q: If you’re happy to see her then why give her just a peck and not go for a full on kiss when greeting?
A: Well, remember rule 1. I am usually so excited to see my partner that a full on kiss will make me rush and cause me to skip at least 5 foreplay steps.
A more important part of the initial greeting (to me) is what I am doing with my hands.
First Contact:
Note that ladies are social creatures, so they typically like to chat a bit when they greet (even though your mind might be on other things). So while chatting I begin engaging my partner by making (light) contact with my hands immediately on greeting and keep the contact going continuously while chatting to relax her and gradually put her in the mood for more intimate touching.
I might take hold of my lady’s hand and softly stroke her fingers and palm with my fingertips and thumb. Hands can be very sensitive and if you caress them properly they can send warm tingly feelings all through her body.
Side story: I used to travel frequently to Thailand (which is world renowned for their spa/massages). The best massages were done by little old ladies (don’t underestimate their strength), and during a 2 hour massage my personal favourite was always the hand massage. If you’ve never had one you should try it, and learn to do it for your partner!
Now that we are both getting into the greeting, we are smiling and making lots of eye contact, and chatting softly (about whatever). I am taking in her scent and she is taking in mine.
The glow should be starting to settle in a bit now (some people describe this as sharing energy). Hopefully there is some music playing in the background that is suitable for both of you.
I personally like nature soundtracks and nothing helps out a long lazy afternoon of lovemaking more than a good thunderstorm.
I will gradually move on to more intimate activities by introducing some hugging and caressing. I like to keep one of my partner’s hands on my chest while hugging… a bit like a dancing stance (to keep the energy flowing between us). I begin to stroke her hand while also stroking the back of her head, neck, and upper and lower back while still maintaining the chatting.
Note: I always continue to follow my partner’s lead on chatting because my little brain is already finished chatting and is thinking of other activities… remembering rule 1.
Top to Bottom:
I like to take a “top down approach” to foreplay by caressing and massaging my way from the top to the bottom and back again.
Top: I place my hand on the back of my partner’s head, cupping it gently and running my fingertips over her scalp in a very light circular motion, sometimes pausing to gently squeeze the back of her head (I have large hands) and kiss her lightly on the forehead. These combinations can be both very relaxing and very stimulating for her.
I gradually begin to move my hand in ever increasing circles over the back of her head while still massaging with my fingertips until I encounter her neck. I then begin to cup and caress her cheeks and behind her ear (very sensitive there), and around behind to caress her upper neck, and then move up to the back of her head again.
Note that I continually adjust the pressure depending on the sensitivity of the area I am touching. For example the sides of the neck can be very sensitive and even ticklish, while the back of the neck can take a bit more probing from my fingertips. You should also develop a rhythm to your touching as you alternate between cupping/squeezing, and stroking/caressing.
I repeat this pattern a few times until I can see and feel that my partner is relaxing into it (her sighs are also a good hint) and then I continue my journey downwards.
I use the tips of my fingers on her upper back and shoulders and up into her neck.
I try to feel the muscles under her skin and apply just the right pressure with my fingertips to provide a relaxing/soothing sensation.
When working on her back I usually cup the back of her head with my free hand to provide support and hug her into my body. This allows her to relax even more. I often kiss her on the top of her head while massaging her upper back as well. Then I continue my trip downwards using larger and broader sweeps of my hand.
Up until now my intent has been more to relax my partner than to arouse her and the touching techniques I am using will reflect that. But as I begin to work my way down I make subtle changes in my technique to begin arousing her.
As my hand slides down over the small of her back just above her hips I apply firm pressure using the heel of my hand. The muscles are thicker here and respond well to more firm pressure (in addition to pulling her closer into your body).
On the way back up I spread my hand wide across the small of her back and pull her into me. I might also place my thigh between my partner’s legs and begin to grind into her a little as the rhythm and pressure of my massages on her back cause her to arch into me.
I will do a few trips between her upper and lower back making sweeping circular motions on her upper back as I hug her, then press firmly as my hand arrives at her lower back pulling her tightly into me (and maybe grinding her on my thigh a little more).
At this point she is clearly showing signs of arousal and may be undulating her body against mine and grinding on me which will increase my arousal to the point where I am ready for penetration. This is a good time to remind myself to maintain my composure and avoid grab-handing because she is only just beginning to warm up.
Note: You should definitely not grab her ass just yet (rule 1). Even if she thinks you want to and are going to this might help build some suspense. This is part of my teasing strategy.
Remember that it’s very important to be in tune with what your partner is feeling and how she is responding and try to move at the pace she is comfortable with. If the head, neck, and back stroking are beginning to make her sigh then you can probably progress to the next level of foreplay which is kissing. But if she is not quite there yet then you might want to take another top/down trip from the beginning (but increase your intensity).
Note: There is no magic number for how many top/bottom trips to make. It’s more about the mood and how your partner is responding to your touch.
First Kiss:
First kiss can be a critical transitional step because for me things tend to escalate very quickly once I begin kissing.
My lips are very sensitive so I find kissing to be an electrifying experience which makes my whole body tingle and become much more aroused.
It could be that I transfer this electricity back to my partner because some ladies have told me I am very good at kissing. This is the reason I try to hold off on the kissing until the end of the initial foreplay.
I like to get to my first kiss after some gradual teasing. I go back to cupping and stroking my lady’s head and neck, and then I begin kissing her on the forehead, or cheeks. I might cup her chin in both hands and then give her a light kiss (slightly more than a peck) on the lips, and then linger for a moment after pulling back slightly from the peck.
Then I might open my mouth slightly and slowly brush my (dry) lips very lightly across her lips which should start the electricity flowing if we are both in the right space. (The gif above makes me tingle just watching it.)
I like to compare the first moments of kissing to the first moments of touching because I do it in several steps. After the first kiss, I might gradually increase the intensity of brushing my (dry) lips against hers in a teasing manner until we begin having a full, proper kiss (which usually escalates quickly).
Or I might brush my (dry) lips across hers a few times and then give her a firm peck on the lips, and then begin running my (dry) lips over her cheek back towards her jawline and then behind her ear into her neck. I might also bite very gently (just enough for her to feel my teeth), before slowly running my (dry) lips back over her check towards her lips where I repeat the soft teasing brushing against her lips.
Remember to pay attention to your partner’s responses all through this because at some point she will clearly want to begin some “proper” kissing and you don’t want spoil the mood with too much teasing.
We are now reaching the end of Foreplay Level-1 and ready to proceed to Level-2. For me the transition point is triggered when the kissing starts. Once the kissing becomes intense and the tongues start to get involved then the passion levels will quickly escalate to the next level. I will begin hugging her more tightly and running my hands over her body during kissing and she will likewise be hugging me more tightly. If I’ve resisted the urge to grab her ass until this point I will also begin grabbing it now.
Note: The sequence I have just described is a guideline and not intended to be taken as a literal step by step set of instructions. Just remember to try to be as slow and patient as you can be with your passions and remember to pay attention to your lady’s responses as her passion builds as well.
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If you think any of my information is incorrect, or can be improved please do contact me. My sensual journey is far from over and I am always looking to learn new things, or improve/correct things I thought I knew.