I know I am repeating myself but most men are simple beasts. It doesn’t take a lot to get us aroused or give us an orgasm. On that basis the most recommended position to give us an orgasm is typically any position!
Well it’s almost that simple anyway. Most of the pleasure sensations men feel are located near the tip of their penis. So we generally get enough pleasure from most positions that just slight adjustments in angle or depth is more than enough to give us the stimulation we might need.
Women on the other hand have a whole range of orgasm inducing pleasure spots located throughout their vagina (I hope you read my page on Erogenous Zones). So for that reason I recommend exploring positions that will give her a variety of stimulating screams based on the theory that giving her good screams will raise the excitement level for both of you.
Precautions
Unless you know for certain that your partner is into “being ridden hard”, you should always be on the watch for any signs of pain or discomfort during intercourse. The reason for this is that your partner’s vagina muscles including her pelvic floor muscles may be tense at first which will cause her pain if you enter too fast. This is true even immediately after your partner has just orgasmed (in many cases your partner’s vaginal muscles are actually more tense immediately after she orgasms). Remember this so you don’t rush to have intercourse right after your partner orgasms!
If you don’t believe me, just watch your partner carefully as you are entering her the first time. Once you feel the tip of your penis enter her vaginal opening and you begin to press inwards you may feel the head of your penis “pop” into her vaginal opening as it passes through the entrance (bulbocavernosus muscle). If your partner winces or tenses then you should have gone more slowly.
Likewise once the tip of your penis is past the opening you may be tempted to thrust your penis all the way inside with just one stroke. Again you may notice your partner wincing or tensing which means you’ve gone too fast.
Note: Porn does not provide good examples for most techniques. This includes their entry techniques mostly providing a very good example of how not to do it. The reason for this is that porn focuses on the action, and they don’t think that watching a man slowly and gently enter a lady is very good entertainment. So porn actresses either have to get used to rough entry or they learn to put up with some pain and discomfort. Your partner might also be putting up with the pain and discomfort you are giving her because she doesn’t want to spoil the sex for you by complaining (something to consider).
My simple solution to entering my partner’s vagina gently works in most positions and is the same as most of my other solutions; I simply follow follow rule#1 (slow down). I begin by ensuring that the tip of my penis is well lubricated, then I begin sliding it gently up and down the crease of my partner’s vagina (her inner labia). She will likely find this stimulating which will make her desire penetration, and also helps get her ready for penetration. (Bonus points if you let the tip of your penis lightly brush over her clitoral hood as well)
As I continue sliding my penis up and down her labia crease, I try to sense a depression in the crease (vaginal opening), and I gently apply more pressure as I am passing over it. Each time I do this I will feel myself sink deeper into the depression as her vagina relaxes against my pressure until reach a point where I am no longer able to slide my penis up and down her crease (because the tip of my penis will be trying to enter her now). I will usually feel a slight pressure at the top of my penis tip as the shape of my partner’s vaginal opening now acts to guide my penis inside.
Note to the ladies: Many ladies don’t understand why men have such a difficult time finding their opening without using their hands (or even with their hands in many cases). The reason is that the penis has a very high concentration of “stimulation type nerve endings”, which are nothing like “tactile sensory nerve endings”. What I mean by that is a man’s penis can barely detect the shape or texture of what it is rubbing against, so it is difficult for a man to feel if he should move his penis left, right, up, or down when trying to guide it in.
If you’re sceptical then here is an experiment for ladies. Close your eyes, and try to guide your nipple into your man’s mouth without using your hands to help guide you. As you slide your nipple over your man’s face you will need to interpret what you are feeling. Is that his nose, or chin your nipple is sliding over? The rough texture of his razor stubble will help you navigate his face, but now that you are sure your nipple is on his lip can you tell what part of his lip? Are you on the side of his lip or have you reached the middle yet? Once you think you have found the middle of his lip, open your eyes and see how good your “aim” was. This game should help you appreciate the challenge(s) that men face when trying to feel their way into your vagina opening with their penis.
Once my penis is in position to begin entering her vagina, I change my motion from gliding to very gently pressing in an “undulating” motion (I’m talking millimeters here). It helps to do this to the rhythm of my kissing because the motion becomes a dance with my partner beginning to undulate against me to the rhythm of my kissing and grinding. As we continue undulating against each other I will gradually feel the tip of my penis slowly entering her (millimeter by millimeter), until I feel the head of my penis slip past the (bulbocavernosus) muscle of her vagina opening.
Note: I try to sense how aroused my partner is at this stage and I actually try to go more slowly if she is extremely aroused (I know that will sound contradictory). The reason for this is that sometimes my partner is so aroused that she orgasms just as the head of my penis slips past her bulbocavernosus muscle. I find extreme arousal a huge turn-on so I try to take advantage of the situation whenever I can. So in these rare cases I can take 1 or 2 minutes just to get the head of my penis in. (Basically one of my teasing strategies)
Once the head of the penis has passed through the opening then I continue my undulating motion but begin to lengthen the strokes to a more typical pumping motion, but I still continue to go slowly. I pull my penis most of the way out, then slowly slide it back in but going a little but further (maybe 1/2 cm) on each stroke. I continue to watch for signs of pain or discomfort from my partner as I do this and adjust if necessary. Generally I am fully immersed within 10-20 strokes which should be slow enough for my partner’s vaginal muscles to relax fully.
Note that if my partner begins pushing against me more insistently to get me inside her more quickly then I follow her lead because she obviously knows what she wants.
Increasing the depth of the strokes gradually also allows my partner’s internal lubrication to spread around fully. I try to pay attention to the lubrication during intercourse to avoid causing discomfort or irritation to my partner, and pause to add lubricant if required.
Note that lack of natural lubrication has no direct correlation to how aroused a woman is. Her lubrication is simply a function of her body’s natural processes and sometimes she needs help. Also it may not be obvious, but all of a woman’s lubrication comes from inside her vagina, so you might have trouble getting past her outer labia due to friction, but then find she is very wet and slippery once you get inside.
Now that I am fully immersed in my partner and she is relaxed I have begun to stroke at a slow rhythm at the same pace as my kissing, and I am ready to see how our intercourse journey evolves. I like to describe it as an evolution because changing positions for me mostly happens very gradually (following the 1cm rule) more often than taking big steps. So the next question is what sort of strokes do I use.
Jackhammer Strokes
This is exactly what you see in most porn movies where the man thrusts as quickly and as deeply as he can. I thought I would mention this technique first because it is one that I mostly avoid (99% of the time). It is unfortunately the technique that most men think is likely to be most pleasing to their women (porn is likely to blame for this), and they think the secret to pleasing a woman is to hammer her as hard, and fast as you can for as long as you can.
What can also be misleading about jackhammering is that many women do actually respond like they are getting pleasure from it and make noises like they are enjoying it a lot. You might even give a woman an orgasm by jackhammering, and she might even like it.
But jackhammering is not a very controlled technique. There is a real risk that you will smash your pubic bone down too hard on your partner’s pubic bone, or even worse, “punch her in the cervix” with the tip of your penis. If your partner is not well lubricated you can also introduce micro-tears in her vaginal wall as well (which basically makes her feel numb during intercourse and irritated later). Oh, and if you struggle with pre-mature ejaculation then jackhammering is also a good way to exceed the limits of your control as well.
Just to be clear, I’m not saying don’t ever jackhammer. Rather I am saying you should save it for specific positions and passion levels and be sure that your partner wants to be jackhammered during your playtime rather than using it as your go-to technique. If you explore some of my other recommended techniques I am sure you will find your partner has much more powerful orgasms.
Ladies I know some of you might disagree with my opinion on jackhammering but my opinion is based on women’s comments on discussion boards and my own experiences as well. I would be very interested in hearing your feedback on the issue so please feel free to Contact Me:
Pumping Strokes:
I’m going to define pumping as any speed which is slower than jackhammering. So this can range from an energetic speed which makes you breathless and sweaty down to an excruciatingly slow teasing speed which makes your partner scream in frustration.
The main benefit of pumping more slowly is that you have a lot more control (or finesse) over how deeply you are penetrating, and to some extent “the path” your penis follows as it penetrates resulting in different sensations for both of you.
For example, when jackhammering you probably find that your partner’s vagina simply feels “like a wet slippery sleeve”, but when you stroke more slowly you can feel the textures and shapes of her vagina and the different sensations they provide to both you and her.
Try this experiment after you have gotten your penis into your partner and she is fully lubed and relaxed: Begin with just the tip of your penis inside her then slowly begin inserting while carefully noting the sensations on your penis.
As you begin to enter deeper you should feel a somewhat harder, smoother surface pushing down on the top of your penis. This is the underside of her pubic bone and is also where the G-spot begins on many ladies. You may want to stop at this point and savour the sensation of her pubic bone pushing down on your penis.
You can also try shifting your body up or down just a little (maybe 1 or 2 cm) to see how it affects the pressure between your penis and her pubic bone/G-spot. If you shift your body lower the head of your penis will tend to push up harder on her pubic bone, and if you shift your body higher the pressure will reduce and you will also find it easier to slide in deeper. Then if you shift your body even higher the shaft of your penis will begin to put pressure on your partner’s clitoris.
I like to refer to these small shifts as the 1cm rule because a very small shift can have make a big difference where your penis comes into contact with your partner, how much force is applied, and the resulting sensations your partner is feeling.
If you didn’t quite hit her G-spot yet then it’s probably just a bit deeper (maybe another cm) because some ladies feel more on the back side of their pubic bone than on the front side. You can continue trying to shift your body slightly upwards and downwards to see how the pressure changes as you change your angle.
Note: Pressing on the area just behind the pubic bone causes some ladies to feel like they need to pee, while other ladies feel pleasure mixed with wanting to pee. You may need to experiment with this area over multiple sessions to determine the appropriate levels of pressure for your partner.
If you shift back to “the middle” again so your penis is aligned with your partner’s vaginal canal then continue to enter further you will move past her pubic bone and notice that her vagina becomes soft and smoother feeling. As you continue to enter you might not feel much difference at all (basically the smooth wet sleeve) until you either reach the end of her vagina, or you run out of penis to insert (this is actually my “problem”).
An interesting thing happens as you get to the end of a woman’s vagina. You might feel a slight increase in sensation on the sensitive underside of your penis head (the frenulum) as you reach the end of the vagina. This is the curve of the bottom of your partner’s vagina pressing back against your penis to steer it towards the cervix. For me pushing that last cm into most ladies has a big increase in stimulation for me and is enough to help me get to orgasm (sometimes prematurely… oops).
In fact I suspect this arrangement is nature’s way of aligning everything to help ensure that when the man ejaculates it results in the sperm depositing directly on target (the cervix).
Note: I’m no medical professional, but I can speculate as well as any other “expert” over nature’s intent.
Sorry for drifting off topic a little there. The point I am trying to make about pumping strokes is that if you use slower strokes and adjust your angles slightly there is a whole world inside your partner’s vagina that you will be missing if you use jackhammer strokes.
Grinding:
I have mentioned elsewhere that I am of “average” length (5 inches or 13cm), so for me getting my penis to the end of a typical woman’s vagina is a bit like standing on my toes while trying to change a light-bulb (I can usually juuuuust reach it, but it is often a struggle). I often wish I was even 2cm longer but over the years I have managed to work out techniques (mostly positions) to overcome my “2cm handicap”.
So now that I am “standing on my toes” trying to reach the back of my partner’s vagina I begin trying different angles and techniques which will help me reach deeper. During some of these experiments the tip of my penis brushes up against a small hard lump in there somewhere. Hmmm, I didn’t expect to feel a hard lump in there. I also notice a look of surprise (and pleasure) pass over my partner’s face. So I “feel around” with the tip of my penis until it brushes over that lump again. OHHHHH, she definitely enjoys that.
Ok, I’m sure the suspense is killing you now and you are curious to know what “that small hard lump deep inside ladies” is. That is her cervix, and the area around the cervix is known as the A-Spot (see the simplified diagram below).
The cervix is small strong sphincter muscle similar to the anus. But the reason it feels like a lump to your penis is because your penis is not very good at tactile sensing (already mentioned near the top of this page). If you were able to put your finger inside your partner and touch her cervix, it would feel like a small sphincter because the tips of your fingers are better at tactile sensing.
I strongly recommend you DO NOT try to contact your partner’s cervix by thrusting the tip of your penis into it because that will cause pain/discomfort.
Instead you need to find ways of “rubbing” the tip of your penis against her cervix which will require a completely different motion from pumping (or jackhammering). This is where a “grinding” motion comes into play. You try to get your penis fully inserted into your partner and then use a grinding motion to rub the tip of your penis over her cervix.
Better yet once you get the tip of your penis firmly pressed against her cervix, let her do the grinding while you just try to maintain contact with her cervix (I have some positions and tips on other pages). You will find that if your partner responds to A-spot stimulation then she will begin grinding hard and fast on you almost frantically. She will sometimes grind so forcefully that it will almost cause pain to the tip of your penis (which is surprising considering that it is more force than you might have used when thrusting into her cervix).
The orgasms produced by the A-spot have been described by women as the most intense orgasms they have ever experienced. Women often describe them as “deep” orgasms which they feel throughout their entire body. I have even seen women go into a trancelike state lasting a few minutes from A-spot stimulation.
So if you could not already tell, I am obviously a big fan of the A-spot, but surprisingly many men (and even women) are unaware that this spot exists. So hopefully I can spread awareness of the new “holy grail” of pleasure zones and help you to explore and discover its secrets as well.
Variety… The Spice of Life:
Although I just spent a lot of this page raving about the A-spot I don’t let my fascination with it prevent me from exploring all the other great spots which will make my lady scream! In fact I find that all of the many places which can give a woman an orgasm have their own special time and place during playtime.
The following pages contain descriptions of many possible positions you can try when having sexual intercourse. Many of these positions can be used to stimulate the clitoris, G-spot, and A-spot with just minor shifts and adjustments to your penetration angles (remember the 1 cm rule), and stroking techniques.
So please explore, experiment, and communicate with your partner as you unravel the mysteries of how to make your lady scream. Please feel free to share your feedback with me so I can continue to refine and revise my own knowledge and update these pages as required.
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I’d like to take a moment to thank SexInfo101.com for providing the detailed photos I am using in the following pages. These photos have allowed me to be much more descriptive in my explanations of the various positions while still maintaining the non-sexually explicit visual content requirements of my Web Host.
If you think any of my information is incorrect, or can be improved please do contact me. My sensual journey is far from over and I am always looking to learn new things, or improve/correct things I thought I knew.