The Default Position?
Many people consider missionary to be a boring position. It’s name even hints at being boring because it seems to imply that this position is ideal for good Christians who are interested only in procreation (as opposed to recreation). However this position should not be dismissed out of hand as it makes a great introductory position for intercourse. In fact I recommend basic missionary as a good starting position because you should proceed slowly and carefully with the initial insertion of your penis into your partner’s vagina. Once I am fully immersed in a woman and she is relaxed and well lubricated then I am ready to see where our intercourse journey evolves.
For example many men try to adopt the push-up position exactly like in the photo above to avoid putting all of their weight on their partner (which is understandable). This is fine for athletic men, but I often find that my arms quickly become tired from supporting my weight, so I shift my hands forward more until my weight is on my elbows instead of my hands.
This slight shifting allows me to kiss my partner more easily, and also allows me to place my hands under her head and neck so I can give her more stimulation with my hands and fingers. But most importantly I can rest my full weight on my elbows seemingly forever, compared to my hands which I am lucky to last a few minutes.
As I continue to slowly pump and stroke my partner I gradually try shifting the angle of my penis slightly to explore her vagina. If I shift my body downwards slightly I will feel the tip of my penis follow the curve of her pubic bone more closely and possibly put more pressure on her G-spot. If my partner responds well to this then I may begin thrusting more quickly to bring her to orgasm, or I may try to push my penis in even deeper to see if I can contact her A-spot (which will not likely be possible from this angle). If I shift my body upwards slightly I will feel the shaft of my penis putting more pressure on the top of her vaginal opening and pubic bone which will stimulate her clitoris. If she responds well to this then I may pause briefly to shift to a closed legged variation of missionary as shown below.
The closed legged variation of basic missionary will put more friction on my partner’s vaginal walls because she is squeezing her legs together which may increase her stimulation. But more importantly it will put a lot more pressure and friction directly on her clitoris which is an effective way to bring her to orgasm. You can increase the friction/pressure on her clitoris even more by continuing to shift your body even higher (1 cm rule). But you will also begin to feel the angle is changing so much that your penis may actually pop out of your partner’s vagina so proceed carefully.
Note: This variation can also be helpful if you are having trouble achieving your own orgasm. I have noticed sometimes after having intercourse for a long period I have difficulty finishing so the increased friction of this position can help get me “over the line”.
You probably noticed that the basic missionary position limits you from getting your penis in as deeply as you would like and also limits your ability to contact her A-spot. For this reason I often shift to a deeper variation of missionary by bringing my partner’s knees up as shown below.
This variation allows you to go deeper because bringing her knees up changes the angle of her pelvis which shortens her vaginal canal allowing you to make contact with all the exciting bits that are found deep inside your partner’s vagina.
For bonus points I put a pillow under my partner’s bum which lifts her higher tilting her hips back even further. But more importantly this allows me to adopt a slightly kneeling position which gives me much more flexibility for adjusting the angle as I am penetrating.
I find this variation is well suited to allowing my penis to explore the unique textures and shapes of my partner’s vagina much more thoroughly. For example as I am entering I can shift my body downwards slightly which makes the tip of my penis firmly press against the curve of her pubic bone and then follow the anterior (front) wall of her vagina as my penis continues inside. This gives the G-spot a firm “rub” as the tip slides past, and if I am getting the angle right the tip will also slide over her cervix (A-spot) just as I am reaching the end of my (slow) thrust. (Note: pay attention because this could also make her feel like she needs to pee)
Once I get the angles lined up I like to pump my penis into my partner with each inward stroke crossing her G-spot, then cervix (A-spot) just as my pubic bone simultaneously presses against her clitoris. I’m a huge fan of passionate kissing so I also do this to the slow rhythm of my pumping and I am likely to have one or more hands cradling behind my partner’s head also massaging to the rhythm.
This slow, dreamy but passionate dance can go on for a long time before my partner’s orgasm builds up, or sometimes only a few strokes. I am always attentive to my partner’s arousal levels and adjust as required to bring her to orgasm by either increasing the speed, or pressure of my pumping.
If I am getting my angles and depth just right I might also feel the tip of my penis “slot” into a crevice at the very back of her vagina. This is the Posterior Fornix (also part of the A-spot group). The feeling on the very tip of my penis as it enters the Fornix is very similar to the feeling as it is entering the opening of the vagina, and the response from most ladies is very intense. Often I am literally up on my toes pushing with most of my body weight to reach into this spot, and if I relax my weight even a little then the tip of my penis slips back out again. So sometimes I’ll spend a while just slightly shifting my weight on and off to feel the tip sliding in and out of my partner’s fornix. This is literally only about 1cm of movement and can possibly send her over into orgasm with just a few strokes (whoo hoo!)
For bonus points sometimes when I am fully inserted and my tip is slotted into her Fornix I stop for a while. Just holding this position and pressing can sometimes cause a body trembling orgasm in a woman. In some cases my partner will wrap her arms and legs around me and squeeze tightly similar to the picture below.
I have had some ladies get into a “zone” or trance like state in this position where they describe wave after wave of orgasms they feel throughout their body lasting for several minutes.
I once did this with a very fit/athletic lady who squeezed me so tight I almost couldn’t move (or breathe either). She held me in a crushing grip while her body shook and she squeezed me rhythmically into her. Each time she squeezed me with her legs I could feel the pressure of my penis increase against her Fornix (almost like she was using my whole body as her giant sex toy).
After her orgasm subsided she relaxed her grip on me just enough that I could slide my penis back out and then in again. But when I reached the end I slotted into her Fornix again which triggered another round of her trying to kill me with her death grip. This repeated a few times before she finally released me.
The next day I felt a tenderness on my lower belly just above my pubic bone and realized she had bruised me with her crushing grip. I didn’t mind actually because it gave me some fond memories of our encounter. I’m not sharing this story to titillate or as a form of erotica. It’s more about highlighting that slow sex can actually be as intense as fast sex, and the right techniques can result in cataclysmic orgasms.
This variation of having the woman’s legs up also allows for very deep penetration. In some cases she might be more comfortable or feel better supported if she is holding her legs. Another difference with this slight variation is that it allows the woman to rock her hips a little in rhythm to my thrusts.
Otherwise it is basically the same as having her knees pressed up tight to her chest because I can adjust the angle of my penetration to contact her clitoris, G-spot, A-spot, and Fornix.
This variation offers the maximum level of penetration, and I rarely have trouble reaching a woman’s Fornix in this position. Surprisingly though I don’t use this position very often. It could be because I often have sex with older ladies who are not as flexible as younger women, so they just don’t find this position very comfortable for more than a few minutes.
Another reason is that I also have sex with more petite ladies who find this much penetration uncomfortable for them. Remember to always pay close attention to your partners to ensure you are not causing them pain/discomfort.
Having stated that though, a lot of men and ladies swear by this position, and many even recommend it for jackhammering. So I also recommend you explore this position to see how it works out for you and your partner.
Missionary Tip:
You might notice that your partner mysteriously moves around the bed little by little and sometimes gets her head jammed uncomfortably up against the headboard or hanging over the side of the bed. Obviously that’s because you push on her a little (or a lot) which each thrust and that slowly pushes her across the bed. It’s inconvenient to keep stopping to re-adjust her on the bed so what can you do to keep her from sliding around?
I slide one hand under my partner’s back and reach up to hold her neck firmly from behind. I usually cradle her head in my other hand at the same time. This might sound a bit awkward or uncomfortable, but many women I do this with describe the feeling as very soothing and stimulating (I am still scouring the internet for a good picture to help describe this arrangement) . I suppose it could be described a bit like a custom headrest because I unconsciously squeeze and massage my partner’s head and neck when I do this.
When I combine the arrangement of my hands with my habit of nearly continuous passionate kissing in rhythm to my pumping and grinding down below it turns the sex into a multi-stimulating whole body experience for my lady… with the added benefit that I’m not chasing her around the bed!
If you think any of my information is incorrect, or can be improved please do contact me. My sensual journey is far from over and I am always looking to learn new things, or improve/correct things I thought I knew.