Cunnilingus is the clinical/scientific term for giving oral sex to a woman, but I’ve always found this word a bit boring to use when describing one of my favourite playtime activities. Of course, there are also many more common slang terms out there (of varying degrees of vulgarity) to describe oral sex. Did you know that in Asia it is often referred to as “painting”? I really like this term because it compares the tongue motions with an artist’s brush strokes and of course that also implies that you can express yourself as an “oral artist”.
A painter is able to produce a wide range of creative results by varying their brush stroke techniques and likewise an oral artist can produce a wide range of physical sensations by varying the licking techniques used. I’m sure there must be at least 50 ways to lick your lover (sorry… bad pun).
Another reason I think it helps to use paint brush strokes as a comparison is that I am trying to provide a detailed explanation of how to apply different oral techniques. It is going to be challenging for me to explain with much clarity if I just keep talking about licking over, and over, and over again. So allow me to attempt to name each of the 50 ways to lick your lover.
Tongue Painting Brush Strokes
Lick: Yeah I know, right after I tell you I’m going to give you many alternative terms for licking I start out with this. But I think lick can still be used to describe at least one definition because there is a very specific tongue movement that this word describes well. Licking is when you stick your tongue out straight and wide, touch it to your target, then slowly and deliberately slide your tongue firmly upwards. I suppose you could consider this the “standard” or “general” licking movement and all other tongue movements are variations.
Flutter: Well as you can see clearly in the image below that simply means to stick your tongue out and wave it rapidly up and down. But I’m going to expand on the obvious and say that most people associate the word “flutter” with a soft gentle motion (think of a butterfly’s wings). So when you flutter your tongue, try to relax it as much as possible so that it is wide and flat, and make soft, gentle “tickling” contact wherever you touch. Many people have learned to associate this tongue movement as a vulgar expression because of it’s unfortunate use by construction workers when trying to “impress” women they see on the street.
Lap: If you pictured a cat/dog drinking then you got this motion correct. Stick your tongue out and curl it upwards and back towards you. Like other motions the slower you move your tongue the softer you will be able to keep it, while the faster you move your tongue the harder and stiffer it becomes. Keep that in mind when you are considering when/where to use this motion. Oh look, I even managed to find an accurate representation of this motion on the internet.
Wiggle: If a flutter is an up/down motion then a wiggle is a side-to-side motion. When you wiggle your tongue, it tends to be narrower and stiffer than when you flutter it so this motion is great for when you want to apply a firmer pressure. For me it seems that the faster I try to wiggle my tongue the narrower and stiffer it becomes so I guess my tongue muscles need to contract more to do it. (Are you wiggling your tongue right now just to see if it’s the same for you? Gotcha!)
Swirl: That’s where you move your tongue in circles. Even the name of this motion sounds like great fun. You swirl your tongue around a candy, or a popsicle, or your partner’s nipple. This is one of my favourite motions because it is so versatile. You can relax your tongue to swirl it slowly and softly, or stiffen up your tongue to swirl it faster and more firmly. I like to think that the swirl produces more screams than any other tongue motion. (FYI: Did you know that in the northern hemisphere people swirl their tongues in a clockwise direction and in the southern hemisphere they swirl their tongues in a counter-clockwise direction? Yes it’s just like toilet flushing, and I read it on the internet when googling about toilet flushing so it must be true!)
Flick: Of course you will think of a snake or lizard when you hear this word and that is the best example of how to use this motion. To do a flick, you want your tongue to make contact as lightly and as briefly as you possibly can. You might consider a flicking motion as a form of tickling but to me tickling is a prolonged sensation where flicking only lasts an instant. If the target of your tongue flick is very sensitive then it should produce an almost electrical jolt. Note that you don’t need to actually dart your tongue out like a snake because it’s more about how you make contact with your tongue than how your tongue gets to its target. Bonus points if you can rapidly contact your target in many places very quickly (that makes some ladies crazy).
Flit: You might think of this motion as being the same as a flick, but it’s kinda the opposite. While a flick has your tongue touching the skin very lightly and briefly, a flit begins with your tongue already making contact. You press more firmly with your tongue making the skin beneath it taught, then pull the tip of your tongue sharply away releasing the skin. It’s a bit like snapping your fingers only with your tongue. This can be a good move to try on your parnter’s nipples, or even her clitoris (under the right conditions).
Glide: Mmmmm doesn’t that word sound deliciously stimulating? Relax your tongue until it is completely limp and soft then touch it gently to your target, then slide (glide) slowly across your target until you reach the end. For maximum effect be sure that either your tongue or your target is very wet and well lubricated when you do it, because without lubrication your tongue will drag over your target which will feel very different (not in a very good way).
Slither: Oooooh I’ll bet that word makes you squirm a little just imagining a snake sliding over your sensitive skin. This move is basically a combination of a glide, and a wiggle but try to keep your tongue as relaxed and soft as possible. As with the glide, you will want to be sure your target is well lubricated to get the maximum effect. If you are doing it right then your partner will shiver or squirm (but in a good way).
Dither: What do you do if you are trying to lick a spot on your partner that is so sensitive that she pushes you away every time you slide your tongue over it? Well, you stop sliding your tongue, and instead press your tongue on the spot and jiggle it while being careful not to let it slide even a little (dithering). There are some very specific places and times where dithering will be the only possible motion you can use (like on your partner’s clitoris if she is hypersensitive while orgasming)
Slap: Seriously? Yes, I am serious, but using your tongue rather than your hand. This move combines some of the aspects of several other moves but is unique enough that it deserves it’s own specific name. So think of your tongue dangling loosely out of your mouth like a flutter, and you contact your target very quickly and briefly like a flick, but instead of softly contacting with just the tip of your tongue, you make contact with the flat surface of your tongue. If you are doing it right then there will be an audible noise like a gentle slap. There are places on a woman that will respond very well to this motion (like her inner labia).
Tongue Combinations: Think of all the sensations you can produce by combining or sequencing your tongue motions. How about if you start out gliding your tongue up through the crevice of your partner’s inner labia, then begin to slither it, and finally press more firmly and flit your tongue off her clitoral hood to finish? Or if you start out flicking your tongue across the tip of her nipple then fluttering it over her nipple, then gradually swirling your tongue around her nipple. Consider all the different places you can put your tongue and all the different ways you might use your tongue in those places. Better yet, if you include using your mouth and teeth in those combinations the possibilities are endless! Oh and speaking of using your mouth, maybe I should describe some techniques.
Mouth and Lip Painting
Brushes are not the only tools that artists use when they paint, so it makes sense when oral painting that you might want to use more than just your tongue. Let’s consider some specific ways to use your mouth and lips to paint as well. I’m going to use vocal sounds to describe some of the mouth shapes and motions because it will help you to better visualize how your lips will be used to simulate these sounds when painting.
AH: That’s when you simply let your mouth hang loosely open with your lips relaxed. Imagine how soft those lips would feel if you gently brushed them against your partner’s skin or glided them over her. Soft, dry lips can almost feel like feathers tickling the skin, and soft, wet lips can make a woman shiver. Bonus points if you speak softly or whisper to your partner while letting your lips brush against her skin because this can make her shiver (in a good way).
OH: You close your mouth slightly to make this sound, but you also tense up your lips making them much firmer to the touch. This shape is handy for applying more pressure to your partner when making contact with places that might be too sensitive for AH lips. If you find your partner is being tickled when running your lips over her in an AH shape then try switching to an OH shape and pressing a little bit harder.
CH: You close your mouth slightly to make this sound, but unlike the OH sound you keep your lips more relaxed and allow them to protrude a bit. This is a great shape to use if your are going to plant a wet kiss on your partner’s skin or if you are planning to gently suck after you make contact.
MM: You press your lips tightly together to make an M sound so this is another mouth shape that is handy for applying more pressure. Sliding your lips over your partner’s skin while making an M shape can be less stimulating so it’s a good way to avoid accidentally tickling your partner if you are in a sensitive area, but you still want to make contact with your lips.
OM: This is not a lip shape that you hold, but rather a lip motion where you start out by placing your lips on the target in either an AH, or OH shape and then slowly squeezing your lips together into an M shape. Bonus points if you make an Mmmmm sound when you do this because the vibrations can be conducted from your lips into whatever part of your partner you are touching. (I’m sure you can imagine some spots where she would like that).
NIP: This is also a lip motion rather than a shape. People mostly think of nipping as something you do with your teeth, but the lips are also a great way to nip someone gently. Like the OM you start out by placing your lips on the target in either an AH or OH shape and then slowly squeeze your lips together into an M shape. But this time you squeeze more firmly at the end and pull back as you squeeze so that the skin (or whatever you are nipping) is gently stretched and pops out of your mouth. This is great motion to use as a transition from a lighter motion such as an AH.
KISS: I would be crazy not to list kissing because this would be the first thing most people think of when using their mouth during sex. I’m sure I don’t need to explain to you how to do this! But I will briefly mention that kissing is very versatile motion which can be adjusted to be soft and gentle through to rough and firm to match the sensitivity of the area you are targeting.
SUCK: You’ve been doing this since the day you were born so you don’t need any lessons from me. Sucking can be a very stimulating sensation and you can vary the amount of suction depending on the sensitivity of the place you are applying suction to. You can also apply suction in combination with the lip and tongue patterns like OM, and flutter.
What about the Teeth?
We couldn’t call ourselves an oral artist if we neglected to use our teeth. I like to think that making contact with your teeth adds both a mental and physical aspect to the stimulation. The physical aspect is obviously the feeling of your teeth touching your partner, while the mental aspect is the slightly instinctive fear or adrenaline rush the contact triggers because your partner subconsciously feels she is about to be bitten hard enough to feel pain.
Note: I should clarify that I have never used enough force from my teeth to leave even faint marks or impressions in a woman’s skin, and certainly not enough to cause more than slight pain (at my absolute “naughtiest”). I don’t have much experience at more extreme sex games like BDSM, and frankly it’s not my thing. If you and your partner are into more extreme pleasures then that is fine (I make no judgments), but I am not able to describe or explain this because it is outside my experience. So for the purposes of this website the firmest bite I will be describing is just on the threshold of my partner feeling pain.
Nip: Yes I know I already used this term to describe a lip motion, but the term is very much associated with teeth so I’m going to use it again here. A nip is a brief gentle bite with just the front teeth and holding the skin just firmly enough that it resists leaving your grip as you pull your mouth away. You can also combine the nipping motion with your lips by making an OM motion after your teeth make contact to help push the skin out from between your teeth. For even more sensation you could start with a nip to hold your partner’s skin, then flutter your tongue over it, then finally pushing it free with an OM.
Bite: Just as I did for licking I’m going to identify a specific description of a generic bite. Open your mouth wide and pull your lips back slightly to help expose your teeth then place your open mouth onto your target (ex: her inner thigh), then close your mouth until your teeth sink into her skin enough that they are gripping firmly.
Drag: This is a motion that starts out as a bite, but then you slide your teeth along the surface you are biting. Obviously you need to be careful with how much force you apply to ensure you are giving pleasure instead of pain. I like to do a very gentle drag down a woman’s neck, and a somewhat firmer drag up her inner thigh towards her pussy (whoo hoo!)
The Artists “Canvas”
If you are planning to do some painting then you will need a canvas or work area to paint on. So this might be a good time to get acquainted (or re-acquainted) with your partner’s lower anatomy (see diagram below).
If you have trouble locating your partner’s clitoris, or have never been able to locate a clitoris then I have good news for you. On most ladies the clitoris is hidden within the protective folds of the clitoral hood and is only visible when she is aroused. Think of a clitoral hood like the foreskin on your penis because it is there to protect her sensitive clitoris. On many ladies the clitoris is never visible which could be why you’ve never found it. So if you can at least locate her clitoral hood then you know the clitoris is in there and her clitoris will be stimulated when stimulate her clitoral hood. Feel better now?
I like to think of an oral sex journey like a walk through the park. Usually when you go for a walk in the park you enjoy all of the sights along the way rather than rushing directly to your final destination. Likewise oral sex has a final destination (usually the clitoris), but for a satisfying journey you want to stop and enjoy the sights along the way. For this reason it’s helpful to have a map (or an anatomical diagram in this case), to help navigate your way around.
Note that my erogenous zones page contains detailed descriptions of each of the parts of this anatomical diagram so I will not be repeating them here. For the purposes of exploring the different painting techniques you can apply with your mouth, lips, and teeth I would like to highlight the typical level of sensitivity of each of these parts as you travel from “the outside in”. Or from the least sensitive to the most sensitive.
- Inner thighs, butt cheeks, and pubic mound (not all are shown on this diagram but you know where they are)
- Outer labia, and anus
- Inner labia, and clitoral hood
- Clitoris
Or to help the sportsmen or hunters reading this below is a target diagram might be more helpful:
Generally speaking you will use softer/gentler brush strokes on the more sensitive areas of a woman such as her inner labia, or clitoral hood, and firmer brush strokes (or even nipping/biting) on the less sensitive areas such as her thighs.
But this page is going to turn into a boring biology lesson if I give you a detailed breakdown of specific brush strokes for specific lady bits. Instead I think it might be more useful to give you an example of oral sex in practice.
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If you think any of my information is incorrect, or can be improved please do contact me. My sensual journey is far from over and I am always looking to learn new things, or improve/correct things I thought I knew.