Did you know there are 9 erogenous zones on a woman? Yes really (I read it on the internet so it must be true).
Definition:
Many places on the body feel nice when you touch them, but by definition an erogenous zone is a region of heightened sensitivity which provides sexual pleasure when stimulated (ex: the clitoris). Note: If you didn’t already know the clitoris was an erogenous zone then you probably need a lot more help than what my humble website can provide.
Did you know that in sex surveys (yes I actually read those things) many people could only name 3 or 4 erogenous zones? So just how many erogenous zones are there? Let’s work our way through them from the top down (which coincidentally is the path I mostly take when initiating play time).
Scalp:
You probably didn’t think of this area in a sexual way, but many ladies find it pleasurable when you run your fingers through their scalp. I agree that this area is an erogenous zone because I often start my foreplay here to help relax my partner and get her in the mood.
I like to gently run my fingertips over a woman’s scalp (mostly on the back of her head) tracing small circles as I move around. This is one area where less is definitely more because applying too much pressure will not produce good results but pressing lightly will quickly make your partner relax.
A particularly sensitive area is the base of her head where the neck muscles are attached. If you gently knead and press on these muscles she will become even more relaxed which opens her up to arousal.
Neck:
Finger massages on the scalp tend to naturally lead down into the neck area. I think the back of the neck is even more relaxing and stimulating than the scalp, so I like to work my way into this area from her scalp. I like to cup my partner ’s head in my hand while kneading her upper neck muscles and looking into her eyes, or running my lips lightly over her cheeks as I start to initiate some light kissing.
The sides of the neck can be even more sensitive than the back of the neck and especially the area just below and behind her ears. I find this area is more suited to caressing with my lips than my fingertips but with a heavier touch because the neck is often a bit ticklish (especially when you are just starting to caress).
After my partner has warmed up a bit from caressing I often like to give light bites and nibbles to her neck while hugging her tightly and running my hands up and down her back in a massaging motion. At this point most ladies will have transitioned from relaxation into initial arousal.
Ears:
Most people are already aware that the ears are a very sensitive area; especially the earlobes and the area just behind the earlobes. You can use your fingertips to caress the ears and move on to lightly running your lips over them, but don’t be in a rush to use your tongue because many ladies are ticklish during initial foreplay. (But some light biting of the earlobe is highly recommended)
Mouth:
Apparently there are some people who don’t like kissing much. To me that is like saying you don’t fancy eating, drinking, or breathing, but I guess some people do manage to survive somehow without kissing.
The lips can be intensely sensitive and some women say they can orgasm from just a good kiss alone! So kissing is definitely a skill you might want to work on if seeing your partner squirm is your life’s ambition!
I like to get into kissing very slowly after I have proceeded down through some of the other erogenous zones. By now I have already worked my way through the scalp, neck, and ears and have started to involve my lips in the exploration. So it will feel natural to begin running my (dry) lips over her neck, and across her cheeks towards her lips. If I am in a particularly playful or teasing mood I might miss the lips on the first couple of passes and then finally just brush my lips over hers
Breasts / Nipples:
Of course everyone knows that breasts are erogenous zones, but most men simply grab and squeeze them roughly, or suck on the nipples. Breasts and nipples can be sensitive to many types of stimulation, so how about mixing it up a bit next time? Try gently stroking and caressing the breasts in smooth circular motions next time to see if your partner appreciates it. Likewise try kissing her nipples and gently running your dry lips over them before you start to suck on them.
Belly:
A lot of people don’t think of the belly as an erogenous zone because so many people are ticklish, but stroking a partner’s belly can be a very pleasurable sensation for her if done right. I also avoided this area for years because I found that women tend to be self conscious about their tummies. When they feel your hands there it seems like they begin to think that you think they are fat and they become shy. I’ve actually had women self consciously remove my hands from their belly when I am stroking them.
But I have noticed in the last few years that women seem to have become more comfortable in their bodies and are more relaxed about belly stroking (or maybe my technique has changed). I’m a natural born teaser, so I like to slide my hand lightly down the middle of a lady’s chest (avoiding her breasts), towards her belly. As I get to her belly I press a bit more firmly to ensure I am not going to accidentally tickle her. I have large, strong hands so I can typically cover her entire belly with my hand and then I gently squeeze and knead her belly in a bit of a massaging motion.
Like most touching, you will want to repeat the move several times to gradually get the desired effect. For bonus (teasing) points you might try running your hands around the sides of her breasts on your way down to her belly.
Pubic Mound:
That would be the smooth rounded bone at the bottom of her belly and just above her vagina for those of us requiring a map.
If you never considered this area before then I suggest you give it a try. After running your hands around your partner’s belly try rubbing your fingertips over her pubic mound and massaging it (without touching any other part of her vagina). Place the heel of your hand on it and apply pressure then gently rub your heel in a circular motion. You should not need to do this for long before your partner starts to moan in appreciation. See, I told you it was an erogenous zone! Now if you include touching her pubic mound at the same time as other nearby parts you’ll get an even bigger reaction (check out the Vulva description below).
Inner Thighs:
I try not to refer to the vagina as the “target”, but I think most will agree that the closer we get to the vagina the more sensitive and pleasurable the area. This leads us to the inner thighs. Whether I am stroking them softly with my hands, or worshipping them with my lips, it is rare that I do not hear a lady expressing her appreciation with soft sighs, whimpers, and even moans. You need to pay careful attention to how your partner is responding when you play here because many ladies can be ticklish in this area. If she is not ticklish then you can try a very light/gentle touch and watch her shiver in delight, but if she is ticklish then try a firmer rubbing pressure with your fingertips and watch her squirm.
Vagina:
It would be unfair to describe the vagina as a single erogenous zone without recognizing that it actually contains several specific erogenous parts of its own. Each of these parts can produce very unique sensations and even orgasms which are different from the other vaginal zones so they each deserve detailed descriptions.
I’m sure many of you are familiar with the naughty bits identified in the referenced diagram, and you probably have some understanding of how to make your partner squirm and moan by stimulating them. But for those of you who are new to women’s anatomy I have provided some details of each of these bits for you below.
Note: Like all parts of the body, vaginas come in many shapes and sizes. Some people like to describe them as coming in 3 basic types (or “styles”). An “innie” vagina is one where only the outer labia is visible. An “outie” is where the inner labia fully extends outside of the vagina and are always visible. A “hybrid” is when only a portion of the inner labia is visible (basically somewhere between an innie and an outie). Pornography has begun to have a negative influence on how many partner‘s view the “attractiveness” of their vaginas because of a focus on innie or hybrid vaginas to the point where many women are having labiaplasty surgeries to trim their inner labias to be “more attractive”. I actually don’t have a preference for a specific vagina “type” and I try to encourage only body positive sexual behavior. I only highlight the 3 general types because it may help you to navigate better when I am describing specific bits of a woman’s anatomy. (Innie Outie Hybrid)
The “Outer” Vagina:
Literally each part of the outer vagina I am about to describe is capable of producing an orgasm in ladies (believe it or not). The question is which part(s) will work on your lady? The answer is to do some exploring and find out. So let’s start our journey (or adventure depending on how you look at it).
Outer Labia:
The outer lips of the vagina are made of the same skin as the rest of a woman’s body but they may feel a bit puffy to the touch. The outer labia meet the crease of a woman’s inner thighs but are generally a bit more sensitive to the touch. You may find the outer labia is too sensitive to run your fingers over (unless they are wet or lubricated), but your dry/wet lips or tongue can provide the perfect stimulation for the outer labia.
Inner Labia:
These are thin rubbery feeling bits of skin made from a much different type of tissue more closely resembling the skin inside your mouth than on your body. The inner labia can be quite delicate and sensitive. For this reason I generally do not touch the inner labia much with my fingers or hands (unless well lubricated); instead restricting my attention to my lips and tongue which are softer and more suitable for playtime. Just a friendly warning that the inner labia can be intensely stimulating so don’t touch them too early, and give them the appropriate respect that delicate body parts deserve when you do touch them.
U-Spot (Urethra):
I’m not making this one up and I only recently learned about it myself. There really is a specific area of the vagina called the U-spot located just above the urethra opening (this is the small hole that is connected to the urinary tract where a woman pees). On many women the hole is not even visible when it is closed (and I often can’t even feel it with my tongue). Basically it just feels like part of the labia crease.
Since it is difficult to see (or feel) the urethra opening my roadmap for locating the U-spot is to place my tongue into the crease at the bottom of the inner labia (basically into my partner‘s vagina). Then I slowly run my tongue upwards until I reach the top of the vagina and keep going until I reach the top of the inner labia. The soft, rubbery labia will resist your tongue from going any further upwards and will form an inverted U-shape as shown in the diagram. If you press your tongue into this area and gently wiggle it back and forth or swirl it in circles you should notice a positive response from your partner. Since I recently started exploring this area I have brought ladies to orgasm several times so I can confirm that it works!
Note: You could argue that since the U-spot is so close to the clitoris that it actually is the clitoris being stimulated indirectly. But I have queried several ladies on the sensation they felt at this location and they confirmed that it felt different from their clitoris (yes I really conducted interviews for my website research… for science of course).
Clitoral Hood:
On some women the skin of the clitoral hood looks almost like a small outer labia, and on other women it more closely resembles a small inner labia. But in all cases the clitoral hood is a small sheath of skin which is meant to cover and protect the clitoris. On most women the clitoris is fully covered by the hood… which is a good thing considering how sensitive the clitoris is (imagine the fabric of her jeans rubbing directly on her unprotected clitoris… yikes).
I am describing this bit specifically as an erogenous zone because on many ladies the clitoral hood is nearly as sensitive as their clitoris. How can I tell that when they are so close together? Well I’m glad you asked! It is possible to bring a woman to such a heightened arousal level that her clitoral hood becomes sensitive enough to give her an orgasm (yes really). I have done this by very carefully placing the tip of my tongue onto my partner’s clitoral hood so lightly that it was barely touching, then carefully wiggling my tongue around or brushing it over so that it barely contacted her clitoral hood… and she saw stars. (Ladies if you are reading this you may want to put this technique on your Man’s list of bedroom challenges!)
Clitoris (Home at Last!):
Seriously, you already know all about this one… right? Well it turns out no matter how much you think you know you can always learn something new. For example most people think the clitoris is just the “little pink nub” at the top of the vagina (which you can see in the clitoral hood diagram above).
The clitoris is actually much larger and more complex than just that tiny little nub. Although it might look strange, the clitoris actually looks more like this anatomical diagram. I still struggle to get my head around this representation, but if I am interpreting it correctly then parts of the clitoris actually extend behind the inner and outer labia and are located in the folds surrounding the entire vagina and possibly into the inner thigh area? Hmmm. Let’s come back to that later. For now we will focus our discussion on the little pink nub that most of us should be (somewhat) familiar with.
Ok, getting back to more familiar territory, the “visible” part of the clitoris often hides inside the clitoral hood for its own protection. Often when a woman becomes more aroused the clitoris will become exposed, or you can access it by placing your thumb across the top of the clitoral hood and gently pressing upwards.
The clitoris can be very, very sensitive so be sure your partner is ready for clitoral stimulation before you start touching it. Most men think of the clitoris as the nuclear launch button and that is the first place they reach for when playtime begins.
If you are one of those men then you should give your hand a slap the next time you reach for your partner’s clit too early (because I’m sure she is thinking of giving your hand a slap for you even if she doesn’t actually do it). I mention stimulation techniques relevant to arousal levels in a lot of detail elsewhere in this website, so I recommend you explore those pages to learn how to touch the clitoris appropriately (dare I say respectfully?).
You may also need to be aware that some ladies can never handle direct clitoral stimulation so please pay attention to how your partner is responding to your touches and talk to her about how sensitive her clitoris is. (Helpful Tip: I suggest you basically forget about touching the clitoris directly, and instead treat the entire clitoral hood as if it were actually the clitoris. Your partner will appreciate this!).
Still curious? The photo above depicts a full sized detailed model of an actual clitoris. For those interested in learning more about this mysterious and marvelous female organ, you can look here.
The Vulva (a group of erogenous zones)
Many people think of the vulva as being the same thing as the outer labia. But according to this anatomical drawing the vulva encompasses all of the zones just explained in the “outer vagina” descriptions. This is great for me because it allows me to consider an entire group of erogenous zones as a single zone (I like to think of this area as one of the “holy grail” spots that I seek out on ladies because of the results I get from stimulation).
Bonus Link: Want to see a neat trick? Check out Sex Nerd Sandra’s explanation of the “pussy hug”.
Luckily for me I have large hands because I can cup my partner’s entire vulva in my hand so I can hug, and squeeze, and massage it. I cannot emphasize enough just how much of a response you can get from stimulating your partner’s entire vulva whether from a gentle/simple pussy hug (less is more), to a vigorous and firm pussy massage.
Hmmm. Let me pause here a moment for a brief contemplation of the vulva’s sensitivity. Is it possible that women respond so strongly to the pussy hug/massage because of the combined effect of stimulating the individual parts of the outer vagina? Or is it possible that I am actually stimulating the “extended clitoris” which according to the anatomical drawings extends behind the outer labia and would be sensitive to pressure? Or is it six of one and half a dozen of the other? Or does it even matter why/how my partner is being stimulated by the pussy hug because what’s more important is that she is being stimulated? Hmmm
The Inner Vagina
There is also a deep, dark, mysterious (and exciting) world inside a woman’s vagina. Some websites I have explored identify an entire set of zones hidden inside a woman which are referred to as Deep Vagina Erogenous Zones (DVEZs) which obviously are not visible on the diagrams above. Some of these zones are controversial because “experts” are still arguing about whether or not they even exist, and where they are actually located. They give these mysterious (and mythical) areas simple but non-descriptive names like G-Spot, A-Spot, O-Spot, and P-spot.
In the interest of science (well pleasure actually) I have also done my own extensive research (and testing of course). For this reason I am dedicating an entire section to the internal (deep) bits because these zones can be the source of earth shattering orgasms for your partner. Yes gentlemen, there are better places to focus your attention than the “overworked” clitoris. Please read on…
G-spot:
G for Good? Well actually it is named after a (famous?) German Gynecologist named Gräfenberg. It is defined as a sensitive area of the vagina that, when stimulated, may lead to strong sexual arousal, powerful orgasms, and potential female ejaculation (woo hoo!). The G-spot is one of the controversial spots because scientists are still arguing about whether or not it exists, and also where exactly it is located (yes really).
For this reason you will see some variations of the above diagram showing the exact location and how to stimulate it. I also have some issues with the “accuracy” of these diagrams because they appear to show a lot of flesh (maybe 3 cm) between the pubic bone and the entrance of the vagina similar to the diagram above. But I have found (from my own careful probing) that the flesh only feels like it is about 1cm thick in that area.
So to continue the controversy I will provide my own “expert” advice on how to find and stimulate the G-spot. I start by sliding my finger into my partner’s vagina (obviously), then feeling her anterior vagina wall begin to curve behind the pubic bone. I usually feel a softening of the tissue in this area because the pubic bone is not there to push back. From there I begin to stroke my finger gently (all stimulation should begin gently) in a “come here” motion. You should notice your woman becoming more aroused and responding to this stimulation.
From here my stimulation is a bit more controversial because most of the sex advice that I have read says to keep using the “come here” motion. But I find that ladies respond better if I withdraw my finger slightly until I can feel a bit of the pubic bone pressing back, then I begin moving my finger in a side-to-side motion, or a circular motion.
Just for clarity, if you are having trouble locating the exact “sweet spot”, or the right motion to use on the sweet spot… ask your partner (yeah I know that’s a revolutionary concept). I have even literally asked women “do you prefer that… or that… or that” and the results (so far) have been nearly unanimous that “come here” scores 3rd place. Actually I should clarify. The “come hither” motion appears to be necessary for the initial stimulation. I have read some reports that stated the G-spot actually becomes larger and “more accessible” from this motion. After that it might be more appropriate to use the other variations that I proposed (remember you can always ask).
Note: One challenge I have found with G-spot stimulation is maintaining good lubrication. I find that if I continue to rub the same spot then the lubrication directly under my finger gradually gets lost and this can result in numbness and even irritation to your partner. One solution I have found is to occasionally swish or sweep my finger around inside her to redistribute her natural lubricants and to re-wet my fingers. Commercial lubricants help as well, and I recommend silicon based lubricants because they seem to last longer than water based lubricants.
A-spot and P-spot (Fornix):
This is a new one for many people and actually refers to the Anterior (and also Posterior) Fornix. These spots can be even more elusive to find than the G-spot but can actually release more powerful/intense, body shaking orgasms, including uncontrolled screaming and even fainting and unconsciousness (you have been warned). Never heard of it? Think I’m making it up? Well besides encountering the A-spot on my own explorations I have found several links to it on the internet (so it must be true).
What we are really talking about here is the tissue around the cervix and possibly even the cervix itself. If your fingers were actually long enough to reach into a woman and feel her cervix (my fingers can sometimes juuuuust barely reach there), then the cervix would feel a bit like a small sphincter. The area immediately surrounding the cervix would feel quite smooth compared to the rest of the tissue in the vagina. If your finger was long enough to touch the cervix then you should pull it back about 1cm and the tip of your finger might feel a fold or pocket in the tissue (or it might only feel like a slight depression).
This is the Anterior Fornix and it can be an intensely sensitive area on some women. If you can get the angle right during intercourse it is possible to slide the tip of your penis into this slot/pocket producing explosive results in your partner. You can find some hints on how to stimulate the A-spot here.
In case you were wondering, yes there is also a posterior fornix and but for some reason it is often called the O-spot (for OMG??) rather than the P-spot (yeah, confusing). The O-spot can also be intensely sensitive like the A-spot, and if you are probing carefully with the tip of your penis you can sometimes literally feel the tip sliding into the “O-spot pocket”.
Cervix:
Since we are in the neighbourhood I should probably let you know that the cervix can also be very sensitive in an orgasm inducing way if you touch it properly. In my case I find that when my partner is riding me cowgirl and grinding on me I can angle my hips slightly and begin to feel the tip of my penis brush against her cervix (feels like a small lump).
This generally causes women to “lose their minds” and begin grinding on me aggressively (even ferociously) putting a lot of pressure on that spot until they explode into a body shaking orgasm. I’m very serious about this… it is really an awesome sight to behold! Not only does it give them a powerful orgasm, but most ladies will pause briefly to catch their breath and begin ferociously grinding on me again to get the next orgasm. Then again, and again, and again. Like I’ve stated in other parts of this website, the A-spot orgasm is truly the greatest thing since the discovery of the G-spot!
Note: I probably should have mentioned this in reverse order, but don’t confuse the pressure a woman puts on her own cervix (when she is in control) with pressure you can put on it when you are driving. What I mean by that is you might accidentally (hopefully not intentionally) encounter her cervix when you are thrusting into her. This feels totally different for her and is more like “punching your lady in the cervix”. I think this is the reason so many ladies react very negatively (even panicking) when I casually mention stimulating the cervix with my penis (and rightly so). Remember this the next time you are giving a woman “a good pounding” and you see her flinching or trying to pull away from you!
Warning: Ok, I am about to contradict myself here. You’ve probably noticed all through this site that I try to be as detailed and specific as possible about body parts and even divide parts into more specific parts. Well I’m about to break that trend and do just the opposite here by lumping the A-spot, Cervix, and O-spot into a single spot I will generalize as the A-spot. Why would I do that?
Well you have probably noticed that although your penis is very sensitive it lacks the tactile sensitivity of other parts of your body like your fingertips, lips, or tongue (for example). What I mean by that is your penis is sensitive to sensations (feelings), but not to specific details like texture discrimination. Don’t believe me? Ok, so have you ever met a blind man who could read braille using his penis instead of his hands? I didn’t think so!
So trying to accurately navigate around inside your partner’s vagina using the tactile sensitivity of your penis is a bit like groping around in the dark try to feel your way to a light switch while wearing mittens. Or if you have a small penis (like I do) it’s like trying to feel something on the ceiling with mittens on while standing on your tip-toes because it is almost out of reach (welcome to my 5 inch world).
For this reason I cannot accurately feel my way around my partner’s cervical region (although I can clearly feel the nub of her cervix), so I will be referring to the entire zone as the A-spot. It might not be exactly correct… so sue me! I will continue to describe the A-spot (and A-spot stimulation) on other pages of this site so please keep in mind this rare generalization!
Anus:
The anus is also a very sensitive area which can be stimulated with your fingers, tongue, penis, or toys. Some women are able to orgasm from anal stimulation. I do not go into much detail about anal play in this site (other than some mild tongue play) because I don’t have much experience with anal games (I’m a bit conservative about anal hygiene). Believe it or not I have never done anal intercourse in spite of it being very popular activity in modern sex (told you I was a vanilla guy). However I may provide links for anal activities in other areas of this site where the topic comes up.
Summary:
Did you notice that were more than 9 erogenous zones? Yeah well the internet is vast and full of contradictions so if you start searching on erogenous zones you will see all sorts of conflicting counts and descriptions. You might even think you know a few spots that I did not list here. Feel free to email your comments/additions and I’ll try to include them here (with due credit in my references section).
So now that you know there are many, many places on a woman that will make her moan you might be interested in some tips and tricks on how stimulate them. Please continue to explore my website to see my lengthy descriptions of foreplay and details of specific sex acts.
If you think any of my information is incorrect, or can be improved please do contact me. My sensual journey is far from over and I am always looking to learn new things, or improve/correct things I thought I knew.