I’ve mentioned several times that porn does not represent “real sex” very accurately. Besides the obvious reasons that the ladies often look like silicon enhanced sex dolls, and the men have massive penises and look like they spend all day at the gym, there are also differences in how the sex acts are carried out. What I mean by that is the angles and positions used in pornography are often intended to give the cameras better views of the explicit action like penetration.
In most cases when I’ve tried these positions myself I found them awkward (especially the more acrobatic or contortionist positions), or not very stimulating for myself or my partner. Often this is because the positions do not allow for very deep penetration, or proper contact with the more sensitive parts of you or your partners sex organs.
Below are several examples of positions you may have seen in porn which might look like they’d be fun to try, but just don’t work out very well in real life.
This position is commonly seen in porn (usually with the woman sitting more upright) because it allows the camera to have a good view of the penetration. It looks like great fun and it seems like it should simply be a variation on spooning. Unfortunately unless the man has a longer than average penis, the penetration will not be very deep and it is unlikely that there will be any contact with the more sensitive parts of the woman such as her G-spot, and definitely not her clitoris (unless she is touching it herself).
This is a variation on the same position but the view is “opened up” even more for the camera. The result is a better camera view but even less penetration and contact than the previous example. My penis is about 5″ long and I was lucky to be able to get even the tip inserted from this angle.
This position is called the pile-driver (for obvious reasons). I’ve tried something like this before and found it very awkward and not nearly as much fun as it looks in the photo. This is mostly because my penis is very rigid when erect and does not like to point down so I have to hold it with one hand and keep it pointed down while I am inserted. This might work out better for men who are less hard when erect, and could bring some pleasure to the woman because the force of keeping the penis bent downward will likely be felt on her G-spot. However she is just as likely to feel a lot of pressure on her bladder and not find this very comfortable at all.
I confess that I’ve tried having sex standing up several times and always found was never able to do it successfully. I mean just looking at the picture above it looks like a much more versatile variation of missionary position. The benefit would be that you don’t need to use your hands to support your weight leaving them free to roam all over your partner (especially her breasts). It would be even better if your partner is leaning up against the wall so balancing would be easy, and you could even lean slightly into her. You could do this for a long time and not get tired.
So what’s not to like about it? Well, in my experience it is nearly impossible to have body heights that allow you to align very well to do this. Generally women are a bit shorter than men so you will nearly always have the man bending his knees and squatting a bit while the woman is up on her toes. You can even see that happening in the image above (and typically in the porn movies too).
While it should be possible to find something for your partner to stand on that will get her to the right height, I’ve never managed to do it. I’ve tried phone books, and step stools, and cement blocks. I’ve even tried it quite recently when a woman was wearing 4 inch heels and seemed like she was the perfect height for it to work out. We got into position and I entered her, and by the time I got adjusted for an optimal fit I was bending my knees and she was up on her toes.
The good news is that I’ve found a position that works nearly as well as standing with my partner leaning back against something and my hands free to roam. I haven’t written about it yet, but for now I will say that it involves a bit of gym equipment. So watch out for a page that talks about “fun with furniture”… coming soon.
I’m sure you’ve seen something like this in porn before, and I confess that I have tried it once or twice myself. This is something you might be tempted to try if your partner is athletic, or flexible (or both). It seems to me that it was the woman who initiated it the few times I tried it so maybe it’s a position that women like to try to express their “kinky ballerina” kink. It does look very sexy, and starts out feeling a bit sexy as you try to get into position. But unfortunately you will quickly find that just like the traditional standing position it’s really only feasible if both of your body heights are matched appropriately. In addition to the man bending his knees and the woman needing to get up on her toes the alignment does not tend to allow for very deep penetration , and you probably will not be comfortable doing this for very long. Oh, and I shouldn’t have to warn you but don’t ever try something like this in the shower or bathtub unless you want to spend time in the hospital explaining how one (or both) of you were injured.
This is a more likely variation that you might go to after you got frustrated from trying to have sex standing up. This one is quite common in porn and I admit that I’ve also done it quite a few times myself. I typically do this if I am transitioning from EotB Yab Yum (Edge of the Bed) and I want to pick my partner up and move to a different room, or other furniture without removing my penis. But I confess that I’ve also done it just to play around a bit.
It’s actually not as difficult as it looks and you don’t have to be extremely fit to pull this off. But obviously your partner’s weight and your relative fitness level will determine how long you can endure this position.
So does it have any benefits? Well not really (in my experience). You will have reasonably deep penetration and if you shift around carefully you can even contact your partner’s sensitive spots. But you will find that once you start trying to pump you won’t have as much control over your penetration as you do in more traditional positions. This is because most of the movement comes from you lifting your partner up and down using your arm strength which can be a bit rough and clumsy and you may end up accidentally jabbing your partner in her cervix. So while it can be a fun position to play around in for a few minutes, it doesn’t really work very as a useful sex position.
I don’t know why I posted this one because it looks more like a circus trick then a sex position. I don’t know about you but this image hurts me just to look at. For me to even be close to penetrating the woman in this position my penis would have to be bent completely backwards (enough to snap it off), and she would be sitting directly on my testicles (crushing them). This is also another position that would only work for men who are less rigid when they are erect, and the penetration would still be very awkward.
Having said that I’m sure you will find this position in a porn movie somewhere (you can find anything if you look hard enough). So if this looks like something you’d like to try, well good luck to you. I’d be happy to hear how it works out for you if you survive.
If you think any of my information is incorrect, or can be improved please do contact me. My sensual journey is far from over and I am always looking to learn new things, or improve/correct things I thought I knew.